friday vibes (29 march) — When you rise … just wait and see.
When you finally rise
You will never see yourself
In the old ways again.
When you finally rise
You will see that what broke you
Is what now supports you.
It’s something to look forward to.
So first thing today – expect extreme fatigue. You may think you need to just go take a nap and will be out for 3 hours. We are in a HUGE processing time that takes place when we sleep and also where we can feel utterly consumed with seeing into old patterns that are actually keeping us unhappy and fighting things that don’t need to be fought because they actually just need to be loved.
Remember, I grew up with a single mother who hated me but exaltedly loved my brother and her dark hair and eyes were furiously jealous of my white blonde hair and blue eyes so I was bullied on the daily and programmed to believe I was one of the ugliest people to hit earth. I also did not trust women and walked most of my life believing I was unlovable and to not expect a man to want to spend his life with me. All her bullying turned me into confirming inside that, YES, I am hideously hard on the eyes and I just have to accept that I am the loser in this lifetime, as reinforced daily with the preferential treatment of my brother. I was ALWAYS the loser – so I got real comfortable with losing or at least not needing to be the winner.
But. I adapted to bullying and then learned to not expect much for myself. I learned to think, yes, I don’t get love in this lifetime, no one will find me attractive and I will be the last one picked and someone else will always win. All the sports things where they picked teams, I was the last one chosen. All the ways that people could be judged on beauty or talent or brains, I got the lowest scores. I got everything I thought I would get based on what I had seen myself getting thus far.
For most of my life I hated on myself because I was hated on by another person who hated on herself, who was hated on by another woman who hated herself because another woman hated on her. And something just snapped into me around the age of 40 that I was manifesting things because I bought into the programming that wanted me to know I was destined to lose and to not be loved or seen as special.
So I believed those things into existence and continued to walk that last place position. Until I no longer could. I woke up around 40 and stopped battering myself. I started a new inner love program where I only put myself in healthy situations with toxicity no longer being allowed to muddy up my energy to the point I found myself to be worthless and utterly flawed.
I stopped allowing those who are so damaged to be the authority on what I should feel about myself. And I just decided to play around with love and see if being kind TO MYSELF actually changed my manifestations. The next year I launched my business and was instantly 6 months booked. I gave love a chance instead of hating all the injustice that put me in the gutter, and the next year I was no longer the poor girl, jealous of all the rich ones who got life so easy, or so I thought from my side of the ocean.
I learned my struggles made me BADASS when I finally came out of the gutter to celebrate how strong and capable I am BECAUSE of how challenging my road had been. Not because of the privilege and the ease and the free rides. That doesn’t create the depth that makes us stand out and gets us shining in ways that otherwise cannot be purchased. RISE and you will never see yourself in the old ways. RISE and you see that what broke you is what will later support you and be something you are proud of overcoming.
Sending you heap loads of blessings for good vibes shifting you to the other side!
moon phase of the day
PULL BACK TO PROCESS. One week after the Full Moon we shift into a two week period of inward focus. This first week is where we just pull back to see what we understand better about the last two weeks of movement. This is almost like a retrograde because it pulls you inward and you can feel like you are going backwards – even though you are not. Just as the plant is not going backwards in the winter while underground – but rather it is the inward that comes before the next outward. A resting space. So rest and be okay with this. We are SELF CENTERED right now so don’t expect others to see you because they are focused on themselves – processing.
moon of the day
Making a plan. Thinking about your career. Feeling determined. Feeling a bit down.
Thinking about upgrading. Feeling detached. Wanting to improve. Discovering solutions.
2: Needing to come together and bridge two perspectives. Work to create an understanding or peace from what is going on around you.
6: Being compassionate is required today. Be LOVE no matter what comes up!
8: Hold the Galactic Vision! Be positive and keep your eyes on the horizon. What you are putting out there is coming RIGHT BACK your way!