saturday vibes (31 august) — Karma is real and you are here to change it.
What are you saying inside
When you are unhappy about life?
Are they words that confirm
What you want,
Or, what you don’t want.
Think about it
And correct yourself now.
Your words manifest your reality.
Test it out.
Something changes with the energy today and things get very sensitive because we are facing some sort of darker matter that is now in our awareness and it has us sort of pausing for a minute to take this in, because it’s some sort of violation or penetration that is unacceptable.
This may deal with some sort of sexual issue, or where the masculine is plunging disrespectfully into the feminine, or where our natural light has been tarnished because something crossed boundaries and changed us in ways where now we think we are bad or deserve to suffer or did something wrong to manifest this.
What I can tell you is that Karma is as REAL as gravity and we DO manifest what we need to learn from. BUT. It is not the actual act or person or ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF YOU that is the Karma, as rather THE FEELING and the way it makes you feel is your Karma and something you are living out again to bring healing to.
So we are to go to the feeling of how this makes us feel to bring the peace within that learns to accept how the outer world intermingles with us, sometimes violently and with disregard to our value, but STILL that outside force COULD NOT be stopped by us, so what are we left with? We MUST find the ways to heal and rise above that which we cannot control or change.
When I was about 23 this dude was hardcore perusing me, even though I wasn’t interested, but he wouldn’t let up, he was determined. And I ended up caving because my friends were like dude, he is so hot, get with him! And it lasted a few months I think, with maybe 20 times having sex. But it was about a year later that I found out he was HIV+ POSITIVE and KNEW IT and kind was on this mission to take others down with him, I guess.
But how this hit me was huge. That he would see me as having so little value that he wanted to pursue me to alter my life and give me what was killing people. That he PURSUED ME in order to try to kill me sent me into a swirl of feelings.
But THE FEELING was my Karma, not the dude (who actually died in 2018), not the disease, not the violation. It is that it made me feel like I had no value and that I am trash and that no one will love me and see me as anything special to cherish, and only instead want to hurt and destroy — IS MY KARMA to live out and heal.
If I hold the energy of, ‘I am worthless and I am trash’ then I will attract things that affirm that. But the THINGS I ATTRACT ARE NOT MY KARMA. We have to see deeply into our healing journey in order to separate the confusion around this. We are mad at THAT PERSON. THAT SITUATION. THAT VIOLATION.
When really the healing takes place when we sit with how it makes us feel and focus on THAT being where we need the attention. As I have grown in loving myself and knowing I have HIGH VALUE in the world, I don’t attract any of those same situations affirming that I am seen as worthless. Now I am Queen KV and I attract people who want to talk lovingly and invite me over for dinner and share in joyous community exchanges.
Now that I love myself I am surrounded with the most loving situations where people VALUE me. And I didn’t value myself because I wasn’t valued in the first place, as my mom didn’t know how to value me — so my Karma is TO LEARN VALUE FOR SELF.
And through others showing me that I had no value, I went within to see what inside of me confirmed that and I discovered it was the voice I USED to talk to myself. I WAS calling myself worthless. I DID think I should be dead. I DID try to kill myself as a child all the time. It hurt to feel unloved and worthless.
So this dude showed me that I had a HUGE rip in my tapestry that COULD attract someone like him. And instead of hating on him for doing it, I went within to write up a new rule declaring that NO ONE like him enter my life again, as if he was what got me to UP MY GAME on what I am saying inside and putting out there when I am unhappy about life.
Sending you heap loads of blessings of support and energy to shift you to the other side!
moon phase of the day
PLANT THE SEEDS. Two weeks after the Full Moon we reach the New Moon where we suddenly have visions for new things we are ready to implement in our lives. This time now is for giving energy towards seeing yourself as your future self doing the things you dream of starting right now. So we begin a journey with the New Moon and over this next week we simmer with love over all that we dream of doing as we prepare to take steps forward from this new feeling starting in one week. This time is for simmering in hopeful dream visions.
moon of the day
Feeling critical. Putting things into order.
Thinking of details. Organizing your life.
Decisions. Decisions. Doing the right thing.
Thinking of others. Wanting things beautiful.
2: Needing to come together and bridge two perspectives. Work to create an understanding or peace from what is going on around you.
4: This is a day that a lesson will be learned! This number tends to bring tests and situations that don’t feel all that wonderful. You are learning something here.
6: Being compassionate is required today. Be LOVE no matter what comes up!