Well Hello SUNDAY | 30 December 2018
Good morning! It’s December 30th and the 3 year anniversary of when I lost my baby girl, Moon Bear, who was only 5 years old when she was killed. I actually reached out on FB like the minute it happened and poured out my broken heart over this devastating tragedy that shocked its way into my world. I learned from that time that nothing is safe or sure, that we never really know, and that time is precious and we need to appreciate it to the max. That also was one of my last posts where I really connected with my tribe or was there for them because I got slammed into a cave of the worst pain I had walked, and being there for you and doing all the things I needed to do became more and more challenging, thus I sit where I do now, with so much backed up and a huge mess that has taken years to climb out of.
I was just about to leap off a cliff into sharing myself in a higher level way when I was knocked unconscious and left to lay here for 3 years having to watch everyone else pass me by while I just lay here healing. And it hasn’t been easy. It’s been brutal at times – because I have been unable to move as the tangles are so dense that each pull strangles me further. So I have had to learn to be still and to just keep at it and not give up even though lying paralyzed makes for a challenging climb up the mountain!
And what I feel from the energies of today are the exalted lesson of what I had to walk and how we now know that we can’t count on anything – but we also sit in power knowing that we want to take life by the horns and live it fully and go for those dreams and TRUST that when things shift we DO get back up and we move once again. But we have to realize that just as in building a baby, we have to trust those 9 months are playing a crucial role. I have had to trust that 3 years is what I needed to heal my broken heart in order to get back to GIVING in the way I used to. I also know that while nothing moved this whole time, the last week EVERYTHING has moved and it’s like suddenly I am on a treadmill and I can tell that it’s about time to shift back into the old role I was just about to step up into when I was knocked down. Turns out I had to learn some hard road lessons before I leveled up.
From that pain comes PASSION and DETERMINATION where I will NOT let any of my dreams go. I am 90% stronger than I was 3 years ago and now I will steam roll my way to my dreams manifested – like, yeah. I WILL manifest what I dream and I will sit here and dream it into reality no matter the time it takes. I BELIEVE.
But I did not have this in me before losing the most important thing to me. I was not as determined as I am now. So allow the pain to be okay, to be a part of the journey that gets you to stand up and DEMAND that a better life manifest for you. I was like, OH, you are going to show me THAT much pain? Then I demand you show me the opposite in JOY. And then I heard the words – then you have to go for it, you have to reach for it, you have to expect that it will be yours and you have to create visions for this same thing that you can walk into becoming your reality. YOU have to know that, no matter what, you ARE on the path to joy – but we only find our desire to discover this path when we are shown the path of category 5 storm pain. When we travel through the worst, we DREAM for the best. When we travel through the mediocre or safe, we don’t dream because we sit in comfort and ease. So KNOW that to be knocked unconscious and left paralyzed for months or years is not what is going to break you, it’s what is going to birth you.
This is not going to break you.
This is going to birth you.
It’s more than what you think.
Sending heap loads of HUGS + KISSES your way!
MOON OF THE DAY
THE MOON IS IN LIBRA and you are going to want to try to bring beauty and balance to what is going on around you. You may be sort of indecisive and will be thinking about making decisions. Your thoughts are with OTHERS and in trying to do what is right.
TODAY VIBES AT TWO and therefore you are being asked to try to come together and bridge two perspectives. Things are coming at you in opposition but it is on YOU to go soft and not allow them to ripple your flow. Work to create an understanding or peace from what is going on around you.
TODAY ASLO VIBES AT FIVE and this means you somehow are facing your past AND future today — possibly at a crossroads — and will need to find strength to continue towards the future way.
TODAY ASLO VIBES AT SEVEN and this means conflict is around from disagreements or misunderstandings between people. You may also feel that you are not being understood and people don’t really see you. Work to come together so that all sides can be blended.
moon phase of the day
PULL BACK TO PROCESS. Seven days after the Full Moon we go into the right side of the Moon Mapping Wheel and therefore we go INWARD for two weeks. This is when people become more self focused and they won’t see you the way you need them to. Use this time to think over the moves from the last two weeks and process what you feel was a good more or a bad move — and then allow that to inspire new movement that starts in two weeks. This is the time to think things over.